Internet porn addiction has become an epidemic for both men and women. Yet many believe still believe it is harmless. Some even suggest using it to increase your sex life in and outside marriage. Like many other issues, porn has become politicized. Many think it is only social/religious conservatives who have a problem with porn. Internet porn use, however, does not follow political labels, and the admonishment against porn is not originating solely from religious fanatics. One of the most specific sites on the internet, Your Brain on Porn, was founded by Gary Wilson, an atheist and politically liberal. Ironically, many liberals have tried to attack him for his research.
What Is Internet Porn?
Unlike porn of yesteryear, found behind the red curtain at a seedy video store or under an older brother’s bed, internet porn is quite different. The user can obtain numerous images and videos in a split second for free and in complete privacy except for the google data collectors who know everything. The sexual aspect takes a back seat to the constant search for something new. Regular internet porn users often describe having an increase in fetishism. What they once thought grotesque has now become their new hot desire even though they have never acted it out in real life. What once aroused them no longer does it for them. This desensitization is unique to internet porn compared to previous methods of porn access.
How Internet Porn Harms
Many internet porn users suffer from isolation and withdrawal and have difficulty establishing real-life connections. Watching porn gives you the feeling of being intimate without actually being intimate. Porn soothes emotions and leads to less desire to socialize, especially romantically. Depression soon kicks in because of overstimulation as nothing feels worth any effort.
While the scientific community continues to debate whether or not porn can become addictive, many individuals have experienced severe emotional and physical effects of porn use, whether they are clinically addicted or not. Whether or not it is addictive, numerous studies demonstrate the link between porn use and maladaptive cognitive, social, and emotional functioning. (2)
It Is Not About Sex
Many people assume porn use is due to sexual desire. While I have little doubt that the use of porn might have started with sexual urges and desires, internet porn use has little to do with sex. Numerous studies debunk the “high drive” theory of internet porn use. (5)
Our brains are goal-seeking and produce dopamine as we move closer to a goal. What happens with internet porn is we enjoy the pleasure of seeking it; the goal is the newest image, and drips of dopamine keep us on the hunt. This phenomenon is best described by users who report delaying climax. They enjoy the hunt more than the kill. In this article by J. Fernando Rangel, the author concludes, based on a study done at UCLA, that porn addiction is a myth. When the researchers showed porn users erotic images, brain imaging showed no activity. When other types of addicts, like crack addicts, view images of crack, their brain’s pleasure center fires a response. Thus the author says porn is not addictive. They may or may not be clinically addicted, but this study supports my proposition that porn use is not about sex, at least not entirely. The porn users were not stimulated by sexual images but they still sought out porn. They sought the hunt. For many, porn use does not result in more sex; it has the opposite effect: it diminishes sexual desire.
Why Bother
Both men and women are suffering from behavior they think are helping them. A 24-year-old man came to me for mild depression and loss of interest in doing activities he once enjoyed. He had a good job, a loving family, and no apparent reason for being so depressed, especially at such a young age. He was not a failure but not much of a success either. He had many desires and aspirations but could never gather the energy to tackle them. A psychiatrist prescribed antidepressants which made him feel worse. No one bothered to investigate his porn use. When I asked if he was engaging in porn and masturbation, he replied effortlessly, “yes” When I asked how often, he replied with the same ease, “about once a day.” His carefree responses demonstrated that neither he nor anyone else he sought for help ever bothered to consider how his porn use affected him. It is now one of the first questions I ask clients. He stopped using porn for just a few days and immediately noticed an increase in energy and desire to do things. This gave him the motivation to stop altogether.
Help With Internet Porn
Thousands of men and women are seeking help for their porn use. Thousands more are using porn without understanding the adverse side effects. If you need help with porn, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Internet porn use affects millions of men and women from all walks of life. I battled it myself for many years. Trying all the typical methods such as internet blockers, exercise, etc… Internet porn addiction, like other addictions, requires a transformation from within; unfortunately, that takes time. The good news is that a shift will change your whole life. Ironically the same internet used to access porn is also full of numerous resources to help you quit porn. (4)
References
- Online Porn Addiction: What We Know and What We Don’t Know-A Systemic Review
- Studies linking porn use to poorer mental health-emotional health & poorer cognitive outcomes
- Think You’re Addicted To Porn? You Might Be Wrong
- Quitting porn
- Studies falsify the claim that sex & porn addicts “just have high sexual desire”
