Fatherless
Growing up without a father or having an emotionally absent father can have lasting negative effects on children. There is a significant amount of research that elucidates the adversity fatherless children face. These include behavioral, emotional, and other psychological problems. Of course, not all fatherless children will do poorly; statistically, the odds are not good for kids who do not have a dad.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” — Proverbs 22:6
If a child does not learn to self-father healthily, it can interfere with forming healthy relationships later in life. It also can result in low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and fears of abandonment. Worse, it leads many fatherless children into rebelliousness and trouble.
A father is more than a sperm donor
With or without father involvement, boys will become men. Either well-adjusted and able to interact in society productively and functionally or otherwise. When a young boy deprived of secure attachment seeks to develop autonomy and socialize, he may lack the social intelligence, executive functioning, and stress modulation needed to adapt to their environment in productive ways. Since, as Krampe (2003) hypothesizes, the sense of a father is innate, there is an actual search for the personal father from childhood (p.6). The qualities of the father play a central role in the boy’s bond and identification with his father. When a father is not available, a young boy’s inner subjective experience of his father is blank, and he must self-father.
If you were raised without a dad, individual counseling can help you have better relationships at work, in friendship, and romantically. It may also help you build the self-confidence many fatherless children lack.
How You Can Help
Many of the deficiencies that fatherless children experience can be overcome by having a mentor in their life. If you know a child who is growing up without a father consider becoming a role model for them. With just a few hours a week or month of your time, you can make a significant difference in a young child’s life. If you are unable to give of your own consider supporting your local Big Brother Big Sister program. Studies have consistently shown that the mentors they provide help reduce school and incarceration rates.
Fatherless Research
Emerging research in attachment processes now suggests that insecure attachment is associated with externalizing behavior (Fearon et al., 2010, p.451), and a child’s behavior in school may provide insight into their inner experiences (Kochanska & Kim, 2013, p.10).
Research also shows that self-esteem arises from relationships and that parental play fosters self-esteem in children and adolescents (Keizer et al., 2019, p.1203). Attachment becomes of particular importance during middle childhood as children begin to explore expanding social interactions and look to their parents as a secure base (Di Folco et al., 2017, p.722).
References
Di Folco, S., Messina, S., Zavattini, G.C., Psouni, E. (2017) Attachment to mother and father at transition to middle childhood. J Child Fam Stud 26: 721. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-016-0602-7
Fearon, R., bakermans-kranenburg, M., van IJzendoorn, M., Lapsley, A. & Roisman, G. (2010). The significance of insecure attachment and disorganization in the development of children’s externalizing behavior: A meta-analytic study. Child development. 81. 435-56. 10.1111/j.1467-8624.2009.01405.x.
Keizer, R., Helmerhorst, K. O. W., & Loes van Rijn-van Gelderen. (2019). Perceived quality of the Mother–Adolescent and Father–Adolescent attachment relationship and adolescents’ self-esteem. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 48(6), 1203-1217. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10964-019-01007-0
Kochanska, G., & Kim, S. (2013). Early attachment organization with both parents and future behavior problems: from infancy to middle childhood. Child Development, 84(1), 283–296. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2012.01852.x
Krampe, E. M. (2003). The inner father. Fathering, 1(2), 131. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.3149/fth.0102.131
